How to Stop Fear of Failure from Stealing Your Exercise Success
“I just don’t want to be last…” said my friend, who was hesitant to run in a local 5k. Unless you lack serious self-awareness, at some point every person has reflected on their place among their peers in physical activities ranging from weight lifting to jogging with friends. Peer comparison is not inherently a bad thing, but it can steal your confidence, enjoyment, and willingness to participate without the following mindset intervention…
1. Redefine success by your terms.
Success is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. This means that the criteria for success is relative and self-determined. Put another way, no one can tell you if you are successful or not because you get to decide what success is to you.
People who are most motivated to exercise generally have such self-referenced standards of success. This mindset is called a task-goal orientation. These highly motivated people feel successful when they work hard, do their best, and improve regardless of whether they are first or last. This means, instead of defining success as winning or being the best among their peers (i.e. an ego-goal orientation), people with a task-goal orientation remain motivated and feel successful even when they are last place because they have worked hard and improved.
2. Own who and where you are.
You are the only you. Give yourself permission to own, embrace, and take responsibility for the one body you’ve been given. You can’t change your height, age, genetics, or your past. So, let it go. But you can control your behavior and your effort today.
3. Control the controllable.
The only person we can directly control is ourselves. A fixation on winning or a fear of being the worst is futile, because we cannot control the performance of other people. Instead of concentrating on winning, focus on the effort you put in to win. The difference may seem slight, but it matters psychologically. When we focus wholly on winning or being the best, we are focused on something we can’t fully control (e.g. the other person’s performance). What we can control is our own effort at any given moment.
4. Use competition as a source of inspiration.
Please don’t hear me saying that competition is a bad thing. Quite the opposite is true! Instead, we can use competition to help us achieve greater personal outcomes than we would have ever achieved on our own. When we watch another person achieve a great feat, it doesn’t take anything away from you. But rather, you can use the great performance of others to live vicariously through in order to inspire, energize, and increase your own confidence.
It was once though that running a sub-four-minute mile was impossible. The same year that Roger Banister broke the four-minute mile, 12 other runners also achieved a sub-four mile. They thought, if he can do it, I can do it!
Finally, competition provides a challenge that presents an opportunity to draw on our greatest effort. When in a competitive situation, we are required to use all of our courage, concentration, and energy to overcome the obstacles at hand.
Thanks for reading! 🙂
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References:
Gallwey, T. (2008). The Inner Game of Tennis.
Nicholls, J. Achievement Goal Theory.
Treasure & Roberts. Applications of Achievement Goal Theory: Implications for Enhancing Motivation.
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